


Peace

by iwannalovebucky



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Character Death Fix, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Clint Barton Dies, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, F/M, Family, Fix-It, Guilt, Happy, Happy Ending, Multi, Natasha Romanov Feels, Natasha Romanov Has Issues, Natasha Romanov Needs a Hug, Natasha finally has a family, Protective Natasha Romanov, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending, Survivor Guilt, Thanos (Marvel) Dies, True Love, not Natasha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-25 17:40:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20029729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwannalovebucky/pseuds/iwannalovebucky
Summary: Natasha wants to give peace to other people, but can she find her own after losing her best friend?(Fix-It Endgame fic)





	Peace

Being the partner of an Avenger had never been easy. You always had to sit at home and wait for her to come back while she was out there saving the world. You felt bad for not doing anything, for letting her do everything but when you asked her to teach you some of her tricks, she refused.

To everyone else she might seem like an emotionless spy, a murder machine, but you had never seen her like that. From the moment you had met her you felt like her eyes were the softest thing in the world. Soft and bright, even when she was sad her eyes would spark, they always did for you.

Sometimes the hard Natasha would come through, tough and grumpy, cold. But even then, when she would reject you and your love for her, when she would not let you care for her, her eyes were still soft. You could always find comfort in them, even when she didn’t want to give you any. When she came back from a mission. When you two had had a fight. When she just wanted to be left alone, you could always feel her love reach for you.

You could only hope that she felt the same. That you were always showing her love and kindness, the peace she deserved.

That was all you wanted for her, to be honest. Peace. And it was what she wanted for you, too. For everyone. That’s why she did what she did, after all. It was her job. And she did her job to keep everyone safe, to keep them happy. But sometimes her doing her job didn’t make you at all. Most of the time, actually.

It pained you to see that she would never get the peace she wanted, deserved and desired – even if she felt like she didn’t deserve it. She gave peace to everyone else but never to herself. And even if you couldn’t give her the same kind of peace she protected and fought for you could give her a little bit of another kind of peace. The kind of peace you feel when you come back home after a long day. At least you tried to give her that. You tried to make your apartment feel like home to her, you tried to give her a little space to rest and relax, a small glimpse of happiness.

And – to your surprise – it worked.

She would come to your apartment and she would smile. She would cook with you, watch movies with you, _dance_ with you – she would look happy. But of course that didn’t last long. Of course Thanos had to come to earth and he had to take away the peace she had always fought for.

Her eyes were still soft but they were also filled with tears. She would still smile, cook, relax and dance with you but it didn’t feel the same. Nothing was the same. For anyone. She and the Avengers carried the weight of their.. failure. At least that’s what they saw all the time, what they had to face every day. They stepped outside and saw names written on walls, people they could have saved, sadness they could have prevented. Just when Natasha felt like she was actually doing something good – _being_ good – they had to lose.

But now they had the chance to make everything alright again, they could save the world again, they could make people happy again. And, just as always, all _you_ could do was sit at home and wait – hope - for her to come back.

You were used to the waiting by now but that didn’t make it any less dread- and stressful. So far you had always been saved from experiencing loss but you weren’t so sure it would happen this time. They had lost against Thanos before, what if.. you couldn’t even think about it.

Everyone had come back. Dusted people appeared again, finally reuniting with their loved ones. Where was your loved one? They had won. But winning doesn’t necessarily mean that everyone survives. So you just had to wait for your loved one to finally return.

And you did. You waited and waited through the whole night and the next day. Still nothing. No Natasha.

She came back the next night, quiet and sad. Ashamed. You just stood in the doorframe of your bedroom, almost unable to make out her figure with the little light that came in from outside. You knew better than to turn on the light or walk over to her. Even if you couldn’t see much, you still knew that she needed space after whatever she just went through.

She didn’t spend much time standing there, walking over to the couch she dropped one of her weapons and let herself slump down on the sofa, her head sinking into her hands. Slowly you now dared walk towards her.

“I failed,” she whispered into her hands. “I failed again.”

You didn’t understand. Everyone was back. They saved the world. Wasn’t that the plan? Unsure of what to do you just kept standing beside her, giving her space and time to explain more if she wanted to.

“Clint is..” She just looked at you. She knew you’d understand.

-

The funeral wasn’t easy. Two dead heroes. Two families left alone.

But you made it through. Natasha made it through. She cried, something she had learned to do after their first battle against Thanos. She cried for her best friends and for a world that can finally rest in peace – just like them.

She had always wanted peace for the world but now that they finally had it she wasn’t so sure if it was worth it. She kept on having nightmares but she was also reminded every time: They made it. They had won. She didn’t fail. You had to tell her often and she didn’t always believe you but you would tell her again and again, as often as she needed to hear it.

Clint wanted to protect his family and that was just what he did.

“I wish he could see them now,” Natasha said one day, sitting in front of the barn with you, watching the children run around. They were happy. He would have loved to see them like that.

“He knows,” you said, reaching for her hand. “He knows they are safe.”

She just smiled and looked at you. “He left them with you, Nat. There isn’t anywhere they could be safer than with auntie Nat.”

You could see her tear up again. But no guilty tears left her eyes this time. No tears of sadness or loss. Happy tears.

She never had a family until she found the Avengers. Then that family fell apart and was brought together again. And now she had another family. One she could protect and spend happy evenings with. Children she could watch grow up and be proud of, even if they weren’t her own.

“I’m glad you’re here, with me.” She didn’t look at you but you still knew her eyes were soft, like they always had been. “I wouldn’t be here without you. I’m glad I came back to you.” She was looking at you now. “I want what Clint had. And I want that with you. I always have.”

Natasha had never talked about having a family and you never wanted to push her into something she didn’t want to. You never expected to hear something like this from her. But now..

“y/n? Are you listening to me?”

You snapped out of your thoughts, searching her eyes and finding nothing but love in them.

“Good.” Her voice was just as soft as her eyes. “ ‘Cause I got something important to ask.” That’s when you noticed the small jewelry box in her hand.

-

Natasha had been fighting for peace for way too long. And she couldn’t give it to everyone, no matter how hard she tried. She knew that now. But she had found her own. She had found it in a small apartment in New York and in kind eyes that reflect her own. She had found what Clint always talked about. And it was better than she ever thought it could be. 


End file.
